Monday, June 29, 2009

A Bad Month for Celebrities

I am the most hypocritical person on the planet right now. Here's why.

A few days ago, I learned that Jacko died. I have done everything in my power since then to make jokes about the situation. Much to the chagrin of my, "friends," on Facebook.

Yesterday, I learned that reknowned pitchman, Billy Mays, had died. I made one joke (in good humor) and will leave it at that. Much to the chagrin of my, "friends," on Facebook.

For Jacko, they are displeased with the fact that I am disrespecting the dead. They are happy to be able to jump on the hype train that is his passing. More than half of the people that I have seen, "lamenting," his death couldn't even name one of his songs outside of Thriller. And when they see people like me who point out the fact that Michael Jackson, the idol and music genius, died many years ago to make way for Jacko the white female child molestor; they somehow feel the need to point out my inadequacies.

But then they find out that I am actually honoring Billy Mays, and they blow their tops all over again. "Geez, man. You didn't have any respect for MJ's passing, why Billy Mays?"

Well, for two reasons. While I consider Jacko's death to be when he decided to become a plastic cyborg, I refuse to lament him (even from the good old days) because he made the choice to become a freak of nature with a thing for boys younger than his most recent nose job. You can say whatever you want about his bad childhood. But he had a million times better childhood than most kids in America, so where is the basis for his whining about it?

Billy Mays, on the other hand, was a decent man. I didn't know much about him other than he convinced me to buy Oxi-Clean once, and that his commercials were fun to listen to. And anyone that can make commercials entertaining is pretty cool in my book. But like I said, I made one joke in good humor, and that's all I plan to say about Billy Mays. I respected him a lot more than Jacko (which was not at all).

So there you have it. I had no respect for Jacko when he was alive, where would it come from just because he died?

Doc out.

Tuesday, June 23, 2009

The Canadian Health Care System, as described by a Canadian.

I was flipping through some of my favorite updating sites earlier this morning. At home of the webcomic, Least I Could Do, Ryan Sohmer (The creator of the comic) wrote this in the feed below the comic. It is a unabashed and unbiased review of the Canadian Healthcare Plan that President Obama hopes to emulate.

Here's a link to the feed-

Be sure to head over there soon, so you don't miss it. It's titled, Canadian Health Care.

I'm half French Canadian, and my aunt is a doctor. Two years ago, she gave me a description of the Canadian Health Care plan that was so similar to Sohmer's that I wondered if they hadn't met and discussed it over coffee or something (both are from Quebec). Free Med Care doesn't mean jack shit if you have to pay for arbitrary little things like Doctors' Notes (or as I called them in High School, Get out of Jail Free Cards) and have to be patient with a serious ailment for five hours while you wait for the jackhole hypochondriac who made it in before you to get his stubbed toe diagnosis.

If Obama has his way, we might as well start calling them Get Out of Jail for a Hamilton cards.

Doc Out.

Saturday, June 20, 2009

Why So Mysterious?

I love how everyone and their dog is looking at that concept art for the new Zelda game and overanalyzing it, as if it's got hidden meanings in it like a Cloverfield poster or a viral website for the Dark Knight or something. I figured out what the poster really is, folks, and I'm ready to share this priviledged information with you.

It's a picture of Link, standing in front of some weird person we won't know the identity of until the game gets closer and Nintendo gives us more detail.

However, there is one thing to take notice. Link's shield is in his left hand, meaning his right hand is going to wield the sword again, meaning this is going to have Wii Motion Plus in it. But that's really the only thing you could get out of that poster as far as hidden meanings go. I doubt Nintendo even thought that was going to be a secret, let alone one that they would want to secretly reveal in a promotional concept art poster.

So lets all stop playing Columbo here. It's just the kid in the tunic. In front of the weird guy.

Thats it.

Doc Out

Thursday, June 18, 2009

E3 Hangover

E3, the Electronic Entertainment Expo, was pretty outstanding this year. Getting back to the glitz and glamour that it tried to abandon last year. I think that it's safe to say that everytime Nintendo takes a step forward, they take three steps back. 3 new Mario games, a hint at a new Zelda, and a Metroid game made by Team Ninja are all awesome, but then they talk about things like Demo Play that look to ruin the experience of all of those games as if that's what we all want. And the vitality sensor? Really Nintendo, do we even matter to you anymore?

Sony wasn't much better. The PSP Go is going to be a failure. And this isn't the mindless rant of someone who hates Sony. This is the rant of a man who understands that when you have one failing handheld in the market and you make another that doesn't even support the games that your first failed handheld uses, you fail as a company. Miserably. The God of War demo was supposed to blow me away, but with the shortness of it, and the lack of a more than memorable moment, I just felt like I was watching someone play the first one, only it was prettier. And Final Fantasy XIV? I think that's going to be the shortest time an exclusive has sold out to another company ever. PS3's motion control rod or whatever didn't intrigue me in the slightest, because I've seen it already. It's called the Wii.

Microsoft is the company that keeps on rocking, strangely. With a new Raiden themed Metal Gear coming it's way and all of their other, badass announcements, Microsoft is the only company that really put on a good show this year. I liked it, and am looking forward to it all except Natal, for similar reasons as Sony's Dildos (as I call them). I've seen it before, and it didn't impress me then.

Keep your eyes on the future. We've been in this generation for 3 years. By next E3, don't be surprised if you start hearing information on X720 or PS4, or Wii Video Games for Casual People 2!